Copyright (c) 2010 Pamela Bruner

By Pamela Bruner

Recently I took a program in which I had a buddy to work with. My buddy is also a coach - let's call her 'Lana'. During the challenging program, Lana just seemed to breeze through, never having an issue, never sharing any difficulties. But she offered many times to help me with the occasional concepts that I struggled with.

I wanted to smack her. (I tapped instead.) And I certainly never wanted to coach with her, even the free coaching she was offering me as her program buddy.

Lana just wasn't real, she wasn't vulnerable, and I couldn't connect with her. She never admitted that she had ever had any issues with this program (or any other), and that left me feeling like I just didn't want to open up.

I'm grateful to Lana for the lesson. I've made the same mistake in the past, keeping my mistakes and my challenges hidden. I can tend to forget that it helps our clients to know that we've actually shared their pain.

Do your clients want to know that you're an expert in what you do? Absolutely! Do they want to know that you've (mostly) got it handled? Yes!

But if you're a transformational entrepreneur, especially a coach or healer, if you come only from your expertise, you won't achieve the rapport you're looking for. People will tend to be turned off, and your success will suffer. When you share from your challenges, and how you've overcome them, people get inspired.

There's a really great way to say this - Your mess is your message.

My mess: The reason that I help people with fears and blocks is that I got a double helping of them somewhere along the way. I've struggled with lots of fears in my life, and have overcome many. Some I'm still dancing with. I've certainly hated marketing, broken down in tears after networking events, gotten angry at mentors who pushed my fear buttons, and inelegantly avoided making phone calls and sending emails that felt scary.

But not anymore. I realized recently that about 50 things that used to terrify me no longer do. I've been doing my work, and it's paid off handsomely in my business and my life.

My message: It's possible to overcome what stops you, and in doing so, not only do you achieve success, but the success is far easier than you ever thought it could be.

So if you're afraid to let your clients know the struggles that you've gone through, think again. Share your mess. That incident that you're so afraid to tell them about might just be the story that makes you a legend, and creates your tribe of fans.