The tapeworm diet does not work, and I intend to tell you why: it's sheer logic! This article will explain that while tapeworms eat, poop and pee just like we do, you have no chance!

Selling Tapeworm for Dietary Purposes is Illegal

The US government has banned trading in tapeworm - but why? If the tapeworm does not work why ban it? Are there so many tapeworms stalking the country that they must be banned from entry into the USA? Maybe they cannot find a proper way of taxing them, because Americans or Europeans may object to being subject to worm scans - they are bad enough complaining about being scanned for bombs, but worms.

It's one thing checking for drugs but quite another to have a tapeworm detector stuffed down your throat or up your rectum!

Nope - there are other reasons. One is that the tapeworm diet fails to work as claimed, and the other is that it can have fatal results (though you would lose weight then so check the small print) - so doctors have been banned from slipping tapeworm down your throat (like anything else)to keep you healthy. It is illegal to sell tapeworm or tapeworm diet pills on the open market in the USA but you can get them in Mexico or on the internet where anything goes.

Does the Tapeworm Diet Work?

So you can't take a prescription for tapeworm to your local pharmacist and be handed over a few 50 foot monsters wriggling in a bag for you to eat, and nor can you buy their eggs. It has nothing to do with food - They cannot be classed as foods and you cannot scramble or poach these eggs - it would stop them working.

But even if you could manage to get some would they be effective? Being serious, is it worth your while driving down to Mexico, or going online with a Google search for tapeworm eggs? I am a scientist - a qualified chemist with an Honors Degree in chemistry from Edinburgh University and as such I know more about the tapeworm diet than those that know less than me and can prove it. So here's my take on why the tapeworm diet does not work.

What are Tapeworms?

If you eat feces, swallow feces-contaminated food or eat raw fish, beef or pork from contaminated animals, you can ingest tapeworm or their eggs. Pills are also available or you can even eat them live, or at least as tapeworm segments (like pineapple segments) although avoid cooking them - that will kill them).

The Tapeworm Diet: How it Works

The theory behind the tapeworm diet is very simple:

a) You make yourself have tapeworm.

b) You eat food.

c) The tapeworm consumes your food.

d) You lose weight.

Why the Tapeworm Diet Does Not Work

1. Your tapeworm might be a veggie tapeworm, might not like lamb or broccoli - or even a vegan - so it won't eat your food. It might even be on a diet if it is too fat.

2. The tapeworm has its digestive system and metabolism just as you have, so

3. It grows after eating. It gets larger and heavier - therefore, so do you! What's the weight of a 60 ft tapeworm? Close to half a ton I should think. I even read of a 168 foot one.

4. Its feces are also passed through its rectum and out its anus just the same as yours, and it then poops and pees right inside your intestine!

5. Your weight can therefore be increased if you use the tapeworm diet by:

a) Fattening up a tapeworm that started as just an egg or a single segment. As it puts on weight then so must you.

b) When the tapeworm poops and pees in your intestine that adds to the weight of your own poo, and what is that all going to weight now, let alone adding the weight of a 100 foot tapeworm. That must be at least as big as a dozen burgers! Until you pass the tapeworms you will heavier.

Maybe now you can understand why the USA has made it illegal. It is alleged that some American politicians are financially connected with some food growers, and that they are liable to oppose any bill that is presented that might mean you buying less food. Because the tapeworm and its feces is effectively acting as a food supply for you, the tapeworm have been banned until such time as they develop a strain that does not provide you with a free meal (tapeworm poop).

Conclusion

The tapeworm diet is effective but not as effective as it could be. It is an inefficient way of losing weight, and the United States government has recognized this fact.

So to recap: The tapeworm's food is digested and metabolized just as yours is, and eventually generates energy (so the tapeworm can wriggle), muscle (strong tapeworms), fat (heavy tapeworms) and poop. Where does the poop go - into your intestinal tract where its sugars are absorbed into your blood - that makes your fat cells even fuller.

It's the ultimate in recycling! It means that the tapeworm diet is ineffective.