Is it true that men don't care much about feelings? Perhaps, but men may not be as opposed to talking about feelings as much as women think, just not necessarily the kind of feelings women are comfortable sharing. Women and men view the sharing of feelings very differently. In a large number of instances their motivation for sharing is the polar opposite of their mate. The reason is part biological and part social conditioning based on gender.

A husband and wife are together at the end of a difficult day for both of them, a day full of frustrations. Things didn't go nearly as well as they would have liked. The common response by most women is to want to talk with her spouse about the challenges she faced. Most men want to forget about their challenges at the end of a hard day.

In situations like this it's common for a wife to feel that she is being treated rudely by her husband. They simply want to connect with their man and spend some time together. The wife pursues him with the intent of talking about their problems and he seems to clam up tight. Why don't men show their feelings? Doesn't he care about me?

What's going on here?

A woman's greatest fear is of being alone. Her greatest desire is for connection, or intimacy. As a result, if she has a choice between sharing no news or sharing bad news, she will usually choose to share bad news. What she wants to achieve is a sense that she is not alone in the struggles she faces.

Being incompetent is a man's greatest fear. The ability to be responsible is his greatest desire. He wants to be able to respond and have the ability to stand on his own two feet. Talking to his wife at the end of a difficult day about the things that didn't go well often cause him to feel like he's failing her as a husband.

Strangely enough, some of the husbands with the strongest loving dedication to their wives and children have the greatest difficulty sharing their challenges with them. They want to prevent their family from experiencing the burden they are carrying. It's an admirable trait, this desire to protect the family from harm. It can be taken too far though, as it shuts women out from working as a team with their husbands.

A husband's ability to provide for and protect his family has been his primary role for most of recorded history. His ability to open up emotionally and share his feelings in a constructive manner with his wife wasn't a defining trait in what made him a successful husband. His ability to endure hardships at work and in battle to ensure the family's welfare is what was most important in defining his accomplishments as a husband and father. Although expectations regarding marriage and intimacy have changed over the last couple generations, the stoic male warrior is still a primary role men are conditioned for.