When two surfaces that used be joined together come apart, there's often a residue left behind. So it is with relationships - no matter how acrimonius the split, sometimes there's still an element of longing for the other one. Getting rid of this once and for all is a key part of how to get over a break up quickly.

If you're caught between getting back together and also moving on, that creates a conflict and you need to break the cycle. You need to go through threshold.

Only carry on reading this and do this exercise if you truly want to get rid of any lingering attachment to your ex. This is an incredible process written by the genius, Richard Bandler.I'd suggest that you do this technique when you're on your own, as it could be a little upsetting momentarily.

Speed is king with this exercise, so read the whole thing through first, follow it to the letter and then do it quickly.

1. Remember a time when you really felt in love with your ex. Create an imaginary still photograph of her from that time. If you have a real photograph, use that instead. Put it to one side for now.

2. Remember four separate occasions when you felt upset or mad at something she did. Better still if you had an occasion whereby you felt repulsed by her. Write those down.

3. Now get each one of those four unpleasant memories up on an imaginary theatre screen in your mind and run them fully associated (with you in the film, looking, hearing and feeling as you did through your own senses) and re-live the negative emotions in the first person.

4. Turn up the brightness, make the image larger, nearer, louder and more intense - the more intense the better. Now run them all back to back until you've created one large, movie of all four events running back to back without any break.

5. Run the new movie through, feel as bad as you can and then look at her picture.

Do this as often as you wish, although most guys find it works first time through. If you're serious about how to get over a breakup, this is one of the most powerful techniques you can practice. What you must do when you're through, is imagine all of those negative feelings, sounds and pictures floating away into your past and getting smaller and smaller and less intense. You don't need to carry that stuff around with you after it's done its job.

Now make one final decision. A decision that it's over. You don't need her. She's in your past and you're 100% committed to building and enjoying a new life without her. Get used to this new found freedom of going through threshold and putting her into your past.

This will seems like a strange thing to do, but be assured that it works. When you do this you create a new neuro-association with your ex - one that feels definitely not like being in love with her. Discovering how to get over a break up requires changes to your thoughts, emotions and behaviours. Begin with this change in thinking and feeling and notice how other things start to follow.